Bonita Ralph

Bonita has dedicated 25 years to youth and family support, community and organisational development. As a mother to three children with two born at home, that sparked the question, “If I could birth at home, could I also die at home?” “What does it mean to stay at home after death?”

In 2014, Bonita began exploring death, dying, and community care—reading, attending workshops, and eventually becoming a Holistic Funeral Director. For six years, Bonita worked with an independent funeral company that pioneered practices around shrouded burial and cremation, and home-based death care. Bonita led the infant care team and worked throughout the COVID-19 pandemic.

In her role as a Holistic Funeral Director, Bonita focused on the care of infants and children, particularly in home-based death care and extended vigil (viewing) time. She developed practices and processes that supported parents caring for their child at the end of life, emphasising slowing down and making informed choices. Creating a safe place for children and siblings to connect and express themselves in end of life and after death care spaces is essential to her work.

Recognising the importance of working in community, Bonita is now a Family Support Practitioner in a paediatric palliative care hospice. Offering support to families along their child’s health journey from diagnosis, treatment, living with illness, end of life and after death care and into grief and bereavement.

Bonita is particularly interested in the period between death and the funeral or burial/cremation. She believes this time is crucial for maintaining bonds, creating memories, and fostering subtle integration. Bonita invites families to spend time with their loved ones, providing a safe and supportive environment before the final goodbye. She acknowledges that while not everyone will have or want their loved one at home, even the hours following death and the transition into funeral care can be a powerful time. Bonita has witnessed the transformative potential of this approach.

‘Death Education’ grew from a seed planted in 2018 with the wisdom of a grieving young person. A family friend died in 2018 in her early 40’s. Her son, during the week of her funeral walked Bonita out to her car after making funeral arrangements. They got to the letterbox and he said, “Why don’t we have death education at school?” That question stayed with Bonita.

That week, Bonita started her Instagram page @deatheducation.

Bonita is passionate about creating safe and meaningful ways for all to engage with death and all the questions it can bring.